Garden State of Mind

Wow. Garden State. I've always liked that movie, but I can't really remember the last time I watched it. I certainly don't think I've watched it since I went to college. Brilliant, simply brilliant.

You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

You and I are gonna be okay, you know that, right? We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but for the first time let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are and that will be better. Okay? I think that will be better.

Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.

Safe... when I'm with you I feel so safe... like I'm home.

I know it hurts. But it's life, and it's real. And sometimes it fucking hurts, but it's life, and it's pretty much all we got.

Cookie Cutter

Cookie cutter perfection doesn't happen. Life isn't meant to be that way. Life is about the mistakes, the screwups, and the lessons you learn along the way. Its the people who help you through it. Its the ever changing relationship between yourself and the rest of the world. Just as you think you have everything figured out, you realize its only the beginning, and there is plenty more insanity just waiting for you. Cookie cutter simply does not happen. And wanting it to will only lead you directly to disappointment and frustration, which isnt cookie cutter anyways. Your own personal mistakes and life decisions teach you everything. Parents and friends may want to shelter you from the consequences of bad decisions, but in the end, you have to experience the consequences yourself, or you never actually understand the effects. You have to fall back down. But you also have to know who is going to pick you back up when you do. Screw ups happen, but the rewind and do-over button doesn't exist. I've looked too long and hard for it. I know it isn't out there. But to rewind and do-over without knowledge gained wouldn't change the outcome in any sort of positive direction. It's the screwups that make people unique. Things may appear majesitical in their illusion of perfection, but the perfectly designed paper angel, carefully constructed by an adult can never match the beauty of the coloring of an angel by a kid to her parents. Perfection loses the meaning. Its beautiful, sure. But its empty. Quirks of people make them who they are. The individual stories, the learning experiences, the mistakes and how you choose to handle them are what truly matters. Nothing else.