Family is supposed to be there for you in all times--the good, the bad, the sad, the crazy, and the calm. But, I'm quickly learning that this is all really in theory. Families are by no means perfect, and the older I get, the more blatantly apparent it becomes. Some families flat out pinpoint family members that they refuse to associate with any longer, while in other families, its a more subtle approach that may not even be noticed until years have passed and a careful eye begins to unravel what has actually happened over the years. I find these situations bizarre and terrifying. Family is supposed to be the group of people you can trust regardless of what is going on in your life, but this is becoming more and more apparent that this isn't likely the case. But then what is one to do?
I've grown up in a situation where the majority of my family lives approximately three hours away. At the age of 21, I still can't tell you where they live in relation to each other, but in my eyes, it's six episodes worth of "Rugrats" in order to drive to where they live (ok, so maybe that was my 7 year old logic, but I really can't tell you where they all live in relation to each other--somewhere on the western side of the good ol' Buckeye state). This has resulted in different levels of closeness with the different levels of family members, which has nothing to do with how close they live. It has everything to do with the events that occurred after May 29, 2002.
As I review these events, it only serves to anger me and raise unsolved questions as to how we're in the situation we find ourselves in today. It also causes me to realize just how naive I had been in the past 21 years and how little I understood what was going on around me. In a new lens, it all seems near ridiculous. I always thought family should be a guaranteed constant that will pick you up and carry you in your darkest times, not ignore you 364.5 days a year. Unfortunately, the latter seems to be true, and sadly an understatement.
As much as this discovery infuriated me when I realized it, I also realized something else. In spite of these less than stellar circumstances, there have been people that have fully supported us and helped us in every time of need, regardless of whether or not we asked for their help. Some of them can be found by looking on our family tree, but there is a large amount that aren't there, but I consider them family every bit as much. And THESE are the people that matter, when it all boils down. The people that will do anything for you without the need to ask and will bend over backwards to get these things done. This can of course be a family member, but it can also be a close family friend, or a personal friend. But I think its this commitment to one another, despite of what your family tree says, that creates a family. Its the people that will do anything for you and you'd do anything for them that makes up a family. And it's with this idea that I honestly think I have the best family ever. We may not all be biologically related, but I'm not sure my life would be the same without those people in it. THOSE are the people that matter. They are my family.
